The aim of this essay is to discuss how intimacy has been conveyed in a conversation between Miss Kenton, and Mr Stevens the butler from a film called “The remains of the day”. The clip is two minutes and 55 seconds long, during the analysis of the clip of which communication takes place, seven concepts will be applied from verbal and non-verbal communication. Followed by study of the interactions that take place, full definition and explanation of these concepts will be provided. Communication is a process in which everyone takes part in, it involves the exchange of information, thoughts, ideas and emotions. It requires a recipient to encode the message which is then carried though a communication channel to the receiver who will decode the message. Nonverbal communication is present at all times it communicates a message without using words, it adds meaning to a phrase or word by our facial expressions, tone of voice, touch and many more. Intimacy refers to the feeling of being close to a person through personal association or the feeling of belonging together; it is a result of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of one another. Intellectual intimacy takes place when two people exchange thoughts, share ideas and enjoy similarities and differences between their opinions. If this happens in an open and comfortable way, then the relationship can become quite intimate in an intellectual area.
Nonverbal communication was present in this scene, proxemics can be used to explain the interaction that is happening here the concept of the definition of this term is noting the distance between yourself and individual and whether or not both parties feel comfortable within the space that is created, when Miss Kenton came into the room Mr Stevens seemed very disinterested in communicating with her and tense. Miss Kenton was questioning the butler about what book he was reading, she goes to pick up the book however he moves it away from her so she can’t see what he is reading which suggests that he is not very open about sharing with her. Mr Stevens then gets up from his chair and walks around to the desk, then Miss Kenton walks closer to him and he steps further away until his back is against the wall and he cannot go any further away from Miss Kenton. However in this particular situation Mr Stevens portrays through nonverbal communication that he feels uncomfortable because Miss Kenton is invading the personal space, of which he has created, therefore creates the feeling of discomfort and agitation.
This interaction can be used to explain the concept of encoding the definition of this term is a process by which the person puts their feelings into behaviour through nonverbal communication and allowing the listeners to understand you. When Miss Kenton walked into the room, she seemed very content by the way she walked into the room, not only with herself but with also taking an interest in Mr Stevens’ activity. She was making pleasantries by mentioning that she had brought flowers and she was also taking an interest in what he was doing by asking if he could see what he was doing. This would suggest that during this time Miss Kenton wanted to develop her relationship with Mr Stevens. On the other Mr Stevens acted very differently compared to Miss Kenton, he seemed much closed when she walked into the room and had a blank expression which suggests that he was disinterested in communication with Miss Kenton, and he may have wanted to give that impression as it showed in the scene. He clasps the book in his hand holding it close to his chest which suggests that he doesn’t want to share with her what he is reading and that he feels that Miss Kenton is being intrusive. However in this particular situation Miss Kenton is aware of how Mr Stevens is behaving as she is reacting but not as what would be seen as the correct manner.
Verbal communication is simply the communication that is expressed through words, which is visible in the scene between both individuals. Racy is a conative word; this describes the concept of a Connotative meaning. The definition for the word is an emotional and imaginative association surrounding a word which sways the individual’s emotions. When Miss Kenton is Questioning Mr Stevens she asks “is it racy?” Therefore by word “racy” it is a suggestive word, the expression that she said this word with conveyed the emotion of worry that it may upset her if that was what he was reading. The word can mean provocative or sexy or lively or entertaining. Therefore depending on the individual’s culture or imagination they could of a wide range of terms that are associated with the word “racy.”
This interaction can be used to explain the concept of Relational Listening, the definition of this term is to guide actual response to the message and it will change that person’s perception and understanding of the relationship. In the scene were the two are communicating with each other it is clear that Miss Kenton isn’t listening to what Mr Steven’s wants, he does not want to share with her about the book, and he is asking to be left alone. The way one listens to another can affect a friendship or relationship to develop, which is what is happening in the scene. However it is clear that Miss Kenton is not listening to what he is asking of her which does affect the relationship to go any further, because in the scene you can see Mr Steven’s is getting agitated and wants to be left alone. Even with verbal and nonverbal communication she does not seem to understand the interaction that is happening. So his perception is changing while she does not listen to him.
Identity is a characteristic, a performance, a construction of society, it is transacted or constituted through the interactions with other people, and it is shaped by culture and relationship’s it also provides frames for interpreting other people’s interactions that happen around others. Due to the individuals different identities it may affect the way they perceive what they see, or do and what they communicate. Which can affect a friendship or relationship to either clash with the individual or they may get along because they may have common interest which allow the individuals to bond and develop through communication. This explains the concept of self-concept which means it is yourself appraisal, self-image and self-esteem, it is your understanding of how others see you, how you want them to see you. By Mr Stevens reading this book and developing his knowledge it is something that he possess, it becomes his identity. This interaction would explain the concept of Self disclosure which means information that is considered personal to that individual which was not readily available. When Miss Kenton eventually retrieves the book from Mr Stevens and is able to find out what it is he is reading, she said “It’s not scandalise at all, it’s just a sentimental old love story.” The way she descried the book suggests that it is not a very important or meaningful book, almost questioning him as if to say “why are you reading this book?” Then Mr Stevens’ replies in a tone that suggests he was reassuring himself and that he shouldn’t have to be explaining anything to her and wants to be left alone, he said “Yes. I read these books, any books, to develop my command and knowledge of the English language, I read to further my education Miss Kenton.” Therefore by Mr Stevens explaining why he was reading the book in the manner that he did without Miss Kenton asking the question, it showed that he was trying to convey the idea that he has a true personal and essential core which was hidden by secrecy and privacy. The length of time it took for Mr Stevens to abruptly explain why he was reading the book which was considered to be a “Sentimental old love story” to her,
In my conclusion while I have analysed the clip by also using the concepts that are relevant to verbal communication and nonverbal communication. I have explored what Miss Kenton and Mr Steven’s communicate with each other, how it is said, how they both listen to each other and how listening effects the relationship between them. I have explored the identities that Mr Stevens possess and how it is clear that by reading this book it is important to him, it is also clear that Mr Steven’s is not very open with sharing personal things about himself and how this was conveyed in the clip. I have explored how Miss Kenton wanted to develop the relationship with him but it is not what they both wanted, it also suggests that Miss Kenton was eager and very intrusive. It is clear that to communicate with an individual or even with a group of people, it must be said in the right manner so that it does not emotionally upset them, this is why there are many ways to say one thing. It is also important to listen correctly so that there are no mistakes and the conversation can flow and develop.
Mariola Mak 